Sticks vs Pucks
January 22nd, 2010I was chatting with a friend last night who can’t stand hockey but is obsessed with baseball. This led to a conversation about which athletes are the toughest, and which sport is the most dangerous. But to clarify, I am not referring to what is the hardest thing to do in all of sports…because the hardest thing about that question is where do you begin? How do you compare hitting a 95-mph fastball to throwing a perfect spiral touchdown while a 300+ pound defensive lineman is in your face to scoring an NHL goal? After all, less than 10% of shots on goal produce scores. Some food for thought: NHL goalies typically stop more than 90% of shots on goal. Top NFL quarterbacks complete more than 60% of passes. Leading three-point NBA shooters hit better than 40%. But in baseball, if you can get a hit in three out of 10 at-bats, you’ll make millions…because remember, only Tiger makes billions.
Speaking of making millions, professional hockey players are the most underpaid athletes given what they do. So which sport is the most dangerous and/or toughest given the conditions under which the athletes play and how much they are compensated? It’s always going to be a debate amongst fans. But in true David Letterman fashion, I give you my TOP 10 reasons why hockey is more dangerous than baseball and hockey players are tougher than most athletes:
10. Baseball players dive into the stands to grab a foul ball where fans greet them with beer and peanuts to cushion their fall. Hockey players dive onto a hard sheet of ice upon which at anytime their heads can be cracked open. Intentional diving – refer to Sean Avery – is also at their own risk.
9. Unlike the designated hitter position in baseball, hockey players don’t sit on their asses for 75% of the game and not play defense. Every player on the team contributes in some way whether or not he specializes in offense or defense.
8. Hockey players start fights and finish them. Baseball players come running out the dugout, pig pile on members of the opposite team (or sometimes their own team) kick up some dirt and run back to the bench. In fact during most of baseball’s brawls, the managers end up kicking more dirt than the players.
7. Hockey players don’t play with balls during their games, but instead they have some of the hottest women in the world play with their balls after the game. (I had to get in one sexual reference).
6. While in the City of Brotherly Love, Terrell Owens often whined he wasn’t getting the ball enough and said upon leaving the Eagles that, “The city wasn’t big enough for two people,” - referring to Donovan McNabb.
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While in the City of Brotherly Love, New York Islanders defenseman Brendan Witt was run down by an SUV while going for a cup of coffee. Witt got up, brushed himself off, and got his coffee. He also played in the game that night.
5. Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Carl Crawford was placed on the 15-day disabled list in August, 2008 with an injured right middle finger tendon and his status for the remainder of the season was unknown. He did not return until late September after which he played in two games but did not get an at-bat.
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While working on his family’s farm in 1985, New Jersey Devils right wing Pat Verbeek had his thumb completely severed off by a corn thresher. While his brother drove him 20 miles to the nearest hospital, his father dug the thumb out of the machine and doctors were able to re-attach it. Pat went on to have a long and successful NHL career and never missed one game because of the injury.
4. In October, 2009 Stephon Marbury was diagnosed as the laziest NBA player by multiple team doctors. Marbury told the New York Post he has “shut everything down” and has no plans to play this season, but expects to return to the NBA in 2010-11. “I’m resting, doing what Michael Jordan did, enjoy life, do things I haven’t done in 16 years, keep building my empire.”
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In January, 2004 New Jersey Devils defenseman Scott Stevens was diagnosed with a concussion by the team doctor and forced to sit out. The concussion actually occurred during Game 3 of the 2003 Playoffs when he took a slapshot to the head. Not only did Stevens score the game-winning goal in Game 4, he went through the whole summer, training camp, and half the next season before realizing there was something wrong.
3. Baseball players carry gloves and may have a collision and fall on the grass (or dirt) once every month during the course of their 162-game season. Hockey players are constantly colliding with each other while wearing razor sharp skates and carrying sticks that are too often wrongly used as weapons all 82 games of their season.
2. Hockey players don’t fake injuries to get a day off, make phone calls or piss in the middle of games or take days off to get their dreadlocks colored. (Manny Ramirez I truly enjoyed all your years in Boston).
1. In hockey, blood dripping down the face is an every day occurrence. In baseball, there’s only been one bloody sock in the history of the game! Thank you Curt Schilling…and to all those Yankees fans, NO IT WASN’T KETCHUP!!!
So the next time your favorite MLB player is sidelined with razor burn or your NFL team’s highest paid wide receiver is on the sidelines crying “That’s my quarterback” or your NBA team’s top center is out 2-3 weeks with hurt feelings, please read this and consider the hockey player.
























